Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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