OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
