Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
