I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
