idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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