She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
