Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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