pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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