I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
