I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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