Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
