I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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