I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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