i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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