I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
