I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
