remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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