i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
