my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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