we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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