Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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