Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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