Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
