I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
