period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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