lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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