everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
