Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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