His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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