I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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