The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
