I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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