Got a toothbrush?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
