My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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