ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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