It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize