he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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