The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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