To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Randomize
