plz talk dirty to me
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
