Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
