She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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