HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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