the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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