Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
