I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
