is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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