With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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