I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
