so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
