Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
