Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
