Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
