How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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