I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
