I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
