I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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