WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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