so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
