I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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