i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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