Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
zippers are such a cool invention
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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