i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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