I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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