I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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