they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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