does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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