The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
